We’ve
all heard fantasy stories, or true events that are either too good to be true,
rags to riches tales, or so full of suffering and unspeakable human misery that
we have a hard time comprehending its reality. No wonder that some of the
biggest blockbusters made in Hollywood come out of true stories of ordinary
people doing the impossible, exemplifying the good in us and not the
all-too-common tragically wasted potential and literal loss of life when it
comes to horrific circumstances like those of Debra Luptak’s.
The
unbelievable true story of Debra incorporates not only the impossible, but also
the exceptional and unprecedented. It’s
a story that begins in the deepest hell and most barbarian of conditions ever
seen by the mortal eye, and yet transitions into a tale of triumph over
impossible odds, redemption and a shared hope for the human existence.
Debra’s
story is not an easy one to tell, some of the details are not only disturbing,
but also painfully unnerving. Yet, the chilling perplexities while astonishing,
also serve as a sad illustration and soul-penetrating lesson of what an
individual “Homo sapien” is capable of by revealing both the darkest and most
uncivilized characteristics, as well as the triumphant resourcefulness of the
human spirit.
The
nightmare began at birth. When Debra Luptak was born she was dubbed “The
Devil’s Daughter,” as her paranoid schizophrenic mother bizarrely identified
her as a child from the Devil in a family where she desperately wanted only
male children. Sexually abused herself
as a child, Debra’s mother began to abuse her daughter at birth, putting her
crib in a confining closet at the back of the house. She was convinced that her newborn daughter
was trying to destroy her marriage and would end up having sex with her
husband.
When she
was three weeks old a mosquito from the nearby swamps got through a hole in
Debra’s closet and bit her, causing encephalitis, a high fever, convulsions and
eventually a coma. Debra had to have her spine drained and spent weeks recovering
in a hospital. All along her Mother
insisted that she had been “born crazy.”
At six weeks, Debra had to be rushed to the hospital when she stopped
breathing and turned blue from lack of oxygen.
Her Mother claimed that “Debra tried to kill herself” by stuffing her
blanket down her throat ( as if a six week old were able to do that,) not
admitting to paramedics that she had tried suffocating her daughter until she
was near death.
Debra,
being the oldest daughter, took the full brunt of her Mother’s abuse, although
younger sister Danielle was also badly mistreated when she was born. They were
both routinely subjected to vindictive deprivation and homicidal rage, yet
Debra was her Mother’s main target. In the young family living near St. Louis,
MO, which also included two boys, but only the girls were subject to the terror
and dread dealt to them by their mentally disturbed Mother. “My Mother wanted
nothing to do with me or my sister Danielle, who was born eleven months after I
was born in 1962,” Debra says. “Both of us were kept in separate cramped
closets as infants and toddlers, and when we moved to our second home we were
kept in a damp, musty, unfinished basement with just a mattress. The meager
food we received was placed on the stairs, as if we were sub-humans or pets.
Neither of us ever had any potty training and we would go for days without
having our diapers changed and we both had terrible rashes and sores from our
soggy diapers.”
Those
sores caused Debra to scratch herself continuously, and when her mother
discovered it, she became convinced that her daughter was touching herself
sexually and was “queer.” Her delusional
thinking led her to devise homemade straight jackets that she made Debra wear
to control her “evil” habits. “The
straightjackets made sure that I couldn’t move, and I was continually strapped
into this restraint with one of my legs placed over the other,” Debra
says. “That was how I learned to walk,
in this straightjacket, with one leg over the other, hobbling in a contorted position,
trying to move myself forward.”
The
straightjacket also had long term physical implications. “One of my legs grew
to be deformed since I had it continually strapped over the other one,” Debra
says. “It took six months of physical
therapy in a hospital to reduce the effect of that deformation.”
Debra’s
mother also forced Debra to sit with strapped arms and legs to a potty chair
for hours, and tried to get her to urinate by forcing a syringe up her
vagina. For years Debra learned to hold
her urine and bowel movements, but eventually she would make a mess in her
panties, which caused her mother to smear her face with feces and then dry it
with an electric fan, a humiliation that she found humorous. “And later when Danielle and I were together
in the damp basement in our second home, she would stand us over a drain and hose us down with
icy water in that cold basement in the dead of winter,” Debra remembers.
Mother
just wasn’t cut out for housework either, and didn’t think it necessary to
attend to cleaning and housework. “She
never washed dishes. There were pots of
food molding in the kitchen and in the refrigerator,” Debra says.
It was a
terrifying existence for a child. Every
day was simply something to endure, a test of survival. Eventually young Debra thought her father
might come to her rescue and become her savior, but he was a slight man and
powerless to deal with the destructive behavior his domineering 5-foot 9-inch,
250-pound wife exhibited toward his daughters.
Things
worsened when Debra’s Mother would fight with her father, Larry, whose concerns
for the girls would cause her to increase their abuse. Shouting and arguments
could continue for hours, as she verbally abused the girls’ father. When police arrived they would arrest the
Father, and he would spend a night in jail.
The
daily torture continued in many ways.
Physical abuse was commonplace, and included cigarette burns and the use
of pharmaceutical drugs (such as Valium) to keep Debra quiet, beginning at an
early age. “I was fed an assortment of
adult pills to keep me sedated and immobile beginning when I was about two
years old. Mother had convinced a doctor that she needed a prescription for
stress and anxiety, and she used whatever drugs she could get to keep me in a stupor,”
Debra says.
Within
days of being force fed adult sedatives, Debra fell into a coma, losing sensory
perceptions. Her Father found her on the
floor of her closet reeking of urine and feces in a comatose state. She was
rushed to Children’s Hospital in St. Louis, where she spent several weeks
recovering from her Mother-inflicted drug overdose.
The
overdose was reported to social services, which finally stepped in and took
serious action against the family, telling them that Debra would be placed in a
home in southern Missouri for a year until the family decided whether or not
they wanted her or could take care of her.
Debra
eventually was returned to her family after her one year stay at a foster home.
A number of relatives gathered at the family home to welcome her, and were
impressed with how nicely her hair had grown out during her time away. Angered by the attention her daughter was
getting, Debra’s mother took the scissors to her hair the next day, chopping
off the offensive object of admiration.
For the
first formative years of her young life, Debra Luptak was routinely brutalized,
physically and emotionally on a daily basis. She was physically malnourished
and beaten, emotionally and cognitively stunted, and completely without any
nurturing or schooling. She was caged
both physically in a closet and later in a basement, and mentally with
pharmaceutical drugs and strong adult sedatives, but through it all she learned
to survive.
“Many
days I heard a tiny voice inside me say that things would be all right, the
voice telling me that ‘It’s not you,” Debra recalls. “If it hadn’t been for that I don’t know if I
could have survived the daily torment. Something deep inside me told me that
there was something better for me and that I would survive my mother’s hatred
for me. I somehow knew that my mother could
beat me, could physically and emotionally torment me, but she would NEVER take
away my will to survive or destroy me.” Despite the reassuring voice, Debra’s
life was always about “hanging on just one more day.”
In 1967,
after her parents divorced, Debra’s mother packed up the kids and moved to
Arizona to live with a man who owned a ramshackle 10-acre ranch out in the
middle of the Palo Verde desert, about fifty miles west of Phoenix. “He was an
ex-military man who had a twisted sense of discipline, and was an ideal partner
in crime for the demented behavior of my mother,” Debra says. “He built a form of animal pen for us out
there, and we had to surrender our shoes so that we couldn’t run away on the
scalding hot desert sand. Years later I
went back to the site of the ranch and found a pair of my shoes there. I keep them on my desk now as the only
keepsake as a little girl, and what I had to survive back then.”
Life at
the ranch in Arizona also included other forms of abuse for the young
daughters, including forcing them by cattle prod to scrub the bathtub in the
trailer, constrain them to eat horse manure and dog food while the boys ate
Oreo cookies and making them walk on hot galvanized metal in the 110-degree
desert heat without shoes as a daily punishment. The girls, Debra and Danielle,
were never allowed to stay in the trailer, and in many cases the boys were
forced to torment their sisters as well.
“My Mother thought it would be fitting if we were branded, and
encouraged my brother Matthew to use a hot fork to make brand marks on us,
Debra says.
Other
forms of abuse at the ranch included burning the girls with cigarettes, Mother
wrapping her finger around her daughters’ hair and yanking chunks of it out,
and pouring hot pepper spice or paprika on the girls’ private parts in her
delusional mind’s attempt to destroy her daughter’s female parts.
It’s
almost impossible to believe this kind of torture was routinely inflicted on
young innocent children, three young girls trying to survive a life that
seemingly couldn’t get any worse. But Mother
Jayne and stepfather Harold continued to find new ways to enhance the
misery. It was years later that Harold
decided to sexually molest the youngest sister Doreen.
Debra
and Danielle became desperate to find ways to escape the compound, and they were
finally able to run away. The police became involved, and the girls’
rebelliousness eventually got to be too much for the mother and step-father who
got “tired of the runaway girls” and, before Debra’s 6th birthday (an occasion
the family never celebrated), she and Danielle were dumped at a social service
center to begin new lives in a series of foster homes. Strangely enough,
Debra’s Mother was never arrested for her brutality towards her daughters for
the simple reason that no one ever pressed charges.
“I had
no frame of reference for what a normal family life was,” Debra says, “but I
didn’t think things could get any worse.
The odd thing was I really didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to leave my
siblings.”
Their
first placement at a foster home happened to be with a family who were
nudists. The second foster family had an
18-year old son who raped Debra at the age of six. There were a series of other homes for the
girls, and eventually Debra went to a family on her own and separated from
Danielle, which was yet another pivotal turn in her life.
Each
foster home was far from ideal.When Debra was nine she moved to the home of an
older couple in Minnesota who wanted a daughter to replace their daughter who
had been killed in a car accident. “That
was a very strange experience for me.
They had sealed off their daughter’s room and kept her things in place
like she was still alive.”
Life in
Minnesota for Debra offered some stability, but also more torment. By the 3rd grade Debra had figured out that
she could get attention from boys, and by the 6th grade was running with a free
spirited and unruly group of kids. When
she was eleven years old, Debra was raped again, and she then became a school
drop out in the tenth grade. “I was very
rebellious towards the adult figures in my life, and yet on the flip side
sexually very promiscuous with the boys, looking for the love and affection
that I never got as a child,” she says.
While
living with her adoptive parents in Southern MN, at the tender age of fourteen,
Debra became pregnant. She had a son at
fifteen, who she ended up keeping. She
also tried to commit suicide later on, but her inner strength triumphed over
death. The world needed Debra.
By the
age of sixteen Debra was married, and by the age of twenty-two she had four
boys. She was now a full-fledged mother,
and was determined to give her children the love that was denied her as a
child. By this point in her life Debra
Luptak was determined to be the best mother she could be, virtually exploding
with love towards her family.
Through
her twenties, with the years of torture behind her and the healing ahead of
her, Debra Luptak was finally on the right track to a balanced life. She busied herself with her family, getting
an education, earning a 3.7 to 4.0 GPA and studying psychology and paranoid
schizophrenia in an attempt to understand her mother’s illness. She had
acquired a passion for learning as a college student and became committed to
pursuing a career that would fulfill her potential. She had begun to recognize her true talents
both as a woman and a teacher. At that
time in her life Debra felt ready and pursued a 3-year search on her biological
family. It was when she summoned the courage to contact her mother on the phone
as an adult for the first time in many years.
Her Mother’s first words to her were: “Yes, I remember you, you are the
Devil’s Daughter.” In 1992 the family was reunited on “The Jenny Jones Show,”
but there was no real reconciliation possible for Debra and her Mother.
And
there were still many bumps in the road before Debra Luptak was to find her way
to a stable, happy, fulfilling life. In
her thirties she attempted suicide twice, and in her forties her third son
Bryce lost his life in an ATV accident in 2005. She dedicated her third book,
(“Why we Cry for a Soul set Free”) to helping other parents heal from the
unbearable tragedy of losing a child. But, almost as if each setback made her
stronger, there was a healing process, a pivotal turn of life going on
underneath it all.
“I took
many different paths,” she says in her book A Survivor’s Closet, “the paths
that I thought were the right ones.
Stubborn and full of determination, I believed I knew what was best for
my child and my adult. Long stretches of
time were spent in tears, releasing endless pains from the inner part of my
soul. Allowing myself to breathe, to
deeply inhale through my nose and exhale through my mouth over and over to calm
my restless body. I revealed my deepest
emotional and physical courage so I could reshape my future. It was as if a
hurricane was living deep inside me and after years of life-threatening waters,
I could finally find calmer seas.”
Today,
Debra Luptak, after having survived inhuman conditions and constant torture, is
a highly successful businesswoman, the author of three books (A Survivor’s
Closet, Why We Cry for a Soul Set Free, …and then There Was Light, with as many
as 11 more books in the works, a life coach, and a corporate lecturer
(www.debraluptak.com) teaching others, either as individuals, or groups, what
it takes to be survivors and become successful at beating the odds when the
odds are stacked against you.
Her
story is a very vivid example for even the most skeptical of souls that with
the right thinking and determination we can not only endure adverse
circumstances, but can also reach the highest of human potentials and triumph
into the light from the deepest of darkness.
With a strong sense of self, Debra today commands all excuses be gone,
defines the true meaning of extraordinary, and proves every word of her
teachings with her life experience. She earned her power through discovering
her personal ability, which allowed the transcendence of intense and horrific
situations and circumstances, something that other motivational speakers,
although greatly recognized, cannot say about their own lives. Nobody has the
personal history of terror and torment that Debra Luptak does.
Debra
does not lecture philosophies; she puts thinking and realizations into
practice. As Oprah once said: “We need to thrive to achieve the highest good
within us and transform others through our own example.” Debra Luptak, a genius
in her own right, dedicated her life to the most noble of causes: helping her
fellow humans through a complete transformation of the self. For as Einstein said: “Only a life lived for
others is worth living.”
In her
very successful hard cover book, A
Survivor’s Closet, Debra says: “Leave your memories buried beneath the dirt,
Share your gift with those you inspire, and Dive into life with your gift of
strength. “
This
courageous, beautiful woman inside and out, turned her life into a raving
success, raised four boys with love and caring, has the most supportive and
giving marriage and is here to help all of us if we are willing to listen.
Debra Luptak is God’s angel, an unparalleled inspiration and blessing to the
World! She possesses the biggest treasure there is: the gift of forgiveness.
That something inside her that was able to transform terror and daily fear into
love and compassion is the very essence of what our 21st century
crises-stricken humanity needs to find in each and every individual’s heart.
Making a better world starts from within and is not only a must, but a
responsibility that the majority of mankind does not understand. Most people in
Debra’s shoes would choose drugs and alcohol to numb the pain or remain in
denial, and even justify it, instead of realizing that the most joy and the
biggest transformation is born out of hardship and not fun and games.
With
Debra, a full presence emerges empowered by the encoded iron will granted by
God to all humans, asking us to awaken, to become conscious and realize that
our choices are the ones determining our destiny and not our outside
circumstances, or other people’s actions.
By
telling her story, Debra conveys to us both the teachings of Jesus Christ and
the latest discoveries in science about the workings of the human mind and how
we connect to that higher intelligence we know exists. Are we ready to
understand our own power? Are we ready to wake up from sleepwalking through
life, and instead, become valued individuals helping the world and ourselves
evolve? Are we ready for a new way of thinking, a new reality, a new life, a
new destiny? Are we ready to hear the words of the universe through Debra’s
voice?
Debra
Luptak has been ready all along, sensing even as a child that someday she would
be called to shine her light throughout the direst circumstances of the human
condition. Her destiny has been written from the beginning, unbeknownst to her,
but something that humanity cries out to hear from a source that has been
through it all. And, that source is her story: the Debra Luptak story!
About the Author of This Article:
Adrienne Papp is a recognized
journalist who has written for many publications including Savoir, Beverly
Hills 90210, Malibu Beach, Santa Monica Sun, The Beverly Hills Times, Brentwood
News, Bel-Air View, Celebrity Society, Celeb Staff, It Magazine, Chic Today,
LA2DAY, West Side Today
among many others. She is the President and CEO of Los Angeles / New York-based
Publicity Company, Atlantic Publicity
and publishing house, Atlantic
Publisher. Adrienne writes about world trends, Quantum Physics,
entertainment and interviews celebrities, world leaders, inventors,
philanthropists and entrepreneurs. She also owns Atlantic United
Films that produces and finances true stories made for theatrical release
or the silver screen. Spotlight
News Magazine is owned by Atlantic United,
Inc with Adrienne Papp
being the majority shareholder.